Monday 24 June 2013

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Just trying to collect data about regular visitors on my blog from US of A, and India... Promise to send you previews of my upcoming book, so please leave a comment below whenever you visit my blog :)

Friday 31 August 2012

Silly and Lilly


Silly, our very own silly... Discarded by her friends, and rejoiced in her dreams.. she stood on the doorway of Lilly.. Lilly our very own Lilly... Discarded by the village and rejoiced by her magical world......

Lilly was a witch and Silly was a kid. Lilly was very old and she hated kids, and hadn't called Silly at her place. It was the not-so-deft mind of Silly, and sparkles in her eyes, which attracted Lilly to her.

Silly had eyes with elves dancing in them. Invisible elves, only visible to Silly, and ones who could see through the invisible cloak of elves,ones who considered blunt as gentle and spectacular, ones who could sit, wait, and wait, to watch the heavenly miracle of tranquil eyes of a not-so-bright girl light up with the bright dance of elves.

Silly lacked mercury in her. She lacked brightness. And she lacked friends.She was so full of Venus. And nobody knew about the dance of elves in her eyes. Nobody knew Venus-ian magic around dance of elves, because nobody thought much of Silly. Silly as she was. Still and Silly.

There was this one full moon night, when Silly was standing at her window-sill, and Lilly was on hunt of Venus-ian earth, when she spotted Silly. Silly was brimming with Venus-ian light. And Lilly spotted elves dancing in her eyes. And there was moon in her eyes, elves dancing around the moon. Venus-ian light was illuminating the dance of elves in her eyes. Lilly was awestruck. The blunt and unadulterated aura of Venus around Silly. While rest of earth-lings used mercury to communicate with Silly, Lilly found the blunt aura of Venus dazzling. She connected instantly with Silly. She was drawn to Silly.

Lilly had so much Saturn in her.. So much Saturn and so much Jupiter... And she had cast a spell on Mercury, and thrown it away, Mercury and its jostling energy was too much of an annoyance for her. Mercury-the frivolous prince charming, in words of Lilly.

Lilly realized that Silly's Venus-ian aura had not been contaminated by the influences which Mercury could have brought with it. And Lilly could use a little bit of that aura for her new magical potion. But lack of mercury prevented her from establishing a contact with Silly. Lilly tried her witch craft, and threw one of her invisible Saturn-nian  ring on Silly.

The Saturn-nian ring was too heavy for delicate Silly. She crashed on her floor. Elves in her eyes ran around looking for safe corners, and Venus stopped brimming. Mercury, which had for so long hidden itself from fangs of Lilly, ran to rescue Silly from Lilly's witch-craft. And Silly cried for help.... for the first time in her life, Silly spoke!! She spoke, she wailed, LOUDLY for help... Mercury threw all its energies on Silly to rescue her from Lilly's chains... But nobody in the world knew it was Silly who was shouting, they could hear a girl, but they did not know it was Silly, they had never heard her speak!! Before they could decipher that those were cries from Silly's room, and it was Silly who was ACTUALLY shouting, she was taken away by Lilly.. into the depths of doom... and just like that Silly was gone. And she stood on the doorway of Lilly.

Lilly was furious!!!! Mercury had almost managed to contaminate aura of Silly.. Oh that stupid stupid Mercury!!! How dare it mingle itself in magic made by Lilly!!!!

Silly stood on the doorway of Lilly's hut. Lilly's hut was an ordinary one, much like old ruins. Lilly was perpetual. She belonged to past, and wished to control the future. She could survive future, but she had survived past. She did not long to survive, she wished to control. Her hut was full of journals, and magical potions. Lilly wished to teach other Earth-lings lessons for being so jovial, so talkative and so greedy. She wanted to teach them how to be learned and wise, and hoped that after her lessons they would stop wasting their energies in leisure.  And now she had found Mercury to teach a lesson. Mercury wouldn't even dare to step anywhere near Lilly's reign.

And now there was this dumb girl standing on her door. Lilly reached out her hand and gently dis-tangled the  Saturn-nian chains from around the girl. So Silly stood up. With huge Saturn-nian chains on her delicate shoulders, she fell again... Lilly made those chains lighter by her magic. But  Silly's Venus refused to brim. Venus of Silly was in enemy territory of Jupiter of Lilly. It could be either Venus brimming, or it could be Jupiter teaching. The night was about to end, and with the dawn Lilly's energies began fading. Lilly's magic was more or less limp during daytime.  During daytime, she fed birds, tendered plants, read journals and prayed. During night she practiced her tricks and powers.

And Sun was rising, Sun illuminating the surroundings, Sun lighting up the world around Lilly's hut. Silly stood up, marks on her body made by Saturn's chains began healing slowly, and Saturn-nian chains getting lighter in their weight... as sun soared up and away from the horizon, Silly got healthier and chubbier. Her rosy cheeks began reflecting the glow of morning's light. Lilly bowed to the morning Sun. Venus in Silly, Jupiter and Saturn in Lilly bowed to the king Sun.

Silly moved away and out of the hut and looked around. She felt Lilly's hut was like ancient remains of some glorious past in lands of heaven. Her Venus away from Jupiter's territory had begun brimming again. There was no moon in her eyes, but elves began dancing, spectacular surroundings made them dance. Silly wondered how well Lilly could dance, she must have been dancing for years in these alluring settings. Lilly was away feeding morning birds. Lilly would be away for a long time, till she was done feeding birds of the sky...all birds she could see.

With king Sun, came the prince Mercury-tripled in its strength, it was with the mighty king. It had forgotten Silly for many moons and many winters. Poor Silly, she made such a brave sight with Saturn-nian chains on her shoulders. So young and tender, and yet so accepting, never complaining.... just mesmerizing....  Mercury could no longer ignore Silly. And he blessed her. Silly spoke again. She spoke to her elves... They danced and danced around Lilly's hut.. They danced and Venus in Silly made them dance more... they danced till they had re-built Lilly's hut. A beautiful hut, no longer a mismatch in beautiful surroundings.  Silly asked her elves to direction to her house, they took her back home.... And thus Silly was back at her home... Silly, no longer dumb, Silly who had elves dancing in her eyes, Silly with a beautiful voice and a magical vision. Silly the bright bright girl, with Venus-ian beauty.... Silly the much admired Silly... Everybody wanted to name their daughter Silly...


Lilly was back to her hut.She was startled, at the sight of beautiful house, and abundant Venus-ian earth which was sprinkled all over... it was slightly contaminated by Mercury.. but Lilly knew how well to churn her potions.. Lilly looked around for Silly.. no sight of her.. the little girl must have lost her way in jungle, thought Lilly, and went inside the house. She opened the journal which told tricks to make the controlling magical potion. The journals looked similar, but read different. They talked about medicine recipes to cure diseases. They no longer talked about the dreamy destructive magical potions. They gave wisdom about beauty of life. Lilly had always followed her journals blindly. They had Jupiter's wisdom... Lilly followed her journals blindly again... And gradually Lilly grew in fame  as a magician with healer's touch and life saving potions. Magician adding beauty to life.

Up in the sky faraway... King Sun sat with his wife queen Moon, smiled at the world, and said to his wife.... "Don't you think Earth-lings should trust us more, so that we can do something good with their lives?? Just look at this Silly and Lilly, I wished everybody else had similar trust in us..."




Wednesday 29 August 2012

Happy and insane families are likely to be alike

I wouldn't celebrate the insanity that runs in families.. I think insanity runs in every family, and it is being counted as a merit in current times. I would like to cash upon another bad trait-happiness.

Shampa's brother was seven years old then, when he addressed his mother as "kultaa", seven years he sure was, and I think he has not grown up ever for her.. Shampa was probably ten then, or eleven maybe.. Her family had moved to their new house.. which was bigger than the older one.. It was Shampa, her brother, mommy daddy, granny and grandpaa..

Now it was one of those days, during summer vacations, when one feels the sky might just come down and engulf the earth, and because it can't, it pours all its fluids on fertile planet.. it was pitch dark and pouring cats and dogs.. and it poured a "baby-cat" in that house! There was this kitten which lost its way to Shampa's house,  saved itself by cuddling under Shampa's father's car that night, and meowed all through the storm. Next day, when probably sky got wary of pouring its passion on earth, gave way to sun.. Shampa's grandfather was perched on his favorite chair in the veranda and was browsing through the morning newspaper. It was late morning though.. Shampa's brother brought out his cricket bat (the wooden shaft had a crack, a threatening crack) and began practicing in the verandah.. tossed the ball up in the air and whacked it with his bat.. (I urge readers to focus on the bat.. balls make predictable movements anyhow..) the cracked shaft gave way, tore itself from rest of the cricket bat, and propelled its way to grandfather's forehead. However Shampa's grandfather  had some experiences from the mal-functioning cricket bat of his grandson, and managed to dodge  the wooden plank. But the bat couldn't stop (blame the inertia) and managed to hit the kitten, which yelped.. yeah yeah.. and  thus "The Kitten" was discovered!

Nothing much happened after that.. it was not a magical kitten..

And my story is not ending here (please do not rejoice)

Shampa got a nice distraction for her vacations that year. Her brother found a rescue method to finish his milk everyday. Her father found a fresh victim to blame for her negligence in studies, her grand mom found a new justification to ask her brother to wash his hands every time he attempted to pull her wrinkled cheeks. Grandpa was mostly unabated by any disturbance.

Now Shampa and her brother wanted to pet the kitten. But Mommy was against it. Shampa tried to justify that the kitten was so tiny and needed care. Mommy argued that it would eventually find its family if left on its own. The argument continued for days. Mommy was against any pet in the house, and Shampa thought her mother was  such a bore! Kitten was fondly called "Meaow".Having the kitten around was like having a younger sibling for Shampa's brother. Initially he was scared at even touching the kitten, but when he saw his sister playing around fondly with it, he was tempted to befriend Meaow. He had already developed a bond of  trust with the animal, by sharing his glass of milk everyday, but had not tried anything beyond that. For a trial he pinched it.. and Meaow scurried under the car again.. Shampa's brother liked the response.. Somebody in the family cared to notice and respect his torture!! Gradually he learnt how to hold it and lovingly pat it, made a bed for the kitten, set up a home for it, and showed it to all his friends. And thus bond between Meaow and Shampa's brother was strengthened.

Days passed, or say weeks, around 2 weeks, and family's affection grew for the kitten. Even grandfather spared two seconds of his daily routine to pat the kitten on head. Only mommy appeared aloof. And there were heated debates on regular basis whether to keep the kitten or not.

Now this one afternoon, Shampa and her brother were out at their cousin's place. Grandmom had been living a terrified existence after the kitten had arrived. She was scared of catching some infection. She thought of disinfecting the kitten by giving it a dettol-ed bath. She mixed dettol with some water, held the kitten in her hand and poured water on it. But the bheegi -billi was too agile for her age, slipped off her hands, and ran out of  the house.. Yes, the much loved kitten abandoned Shampa and her family, becuase it was scared of another dettol-ed bath!

When Shampa and brother returned, and did not find the kitten, there was some hue and cry. Especially her brother was devastated. He thought that mommy had let out the kitten, and  probably the poor creature was dying somewhere, out in the cruel world. Now he had learnt a new word "kultaa" in his Hindi literature class.The book said that the word means a bad woman. He marched to his mother, and in tears shouted "Mommy you are kultaa, you threw out meaow". Mommy was shocked!! Granny was present on the scene and explained the entire story saving mommy from Shampa's brother's another vocabulary experiment.

Both brother and sister sulked for a few days. It was then mommy revealed the much kept secret . It happened that Shampa's mother had kept a dog when she was very young, and the dog had died. Shampa's mother, a little kid then, was so heartbroken, that she vowed never to keep a pet again. And that was the reason for her protest against keeping the kitten. Kids could relate to their mother's heartbreak, and the family lived happily ever after..

Hey wait.. there is more to climax..

A week later  Shampaa's brother spotted a similar kitten in one of their neighbor's house. Shampa's brother was tempted to take it home, but the thought of loosing it due to granny's dettol-ed bath, made him decide otherwise.

And yess, The family lived happily ever after


****************************************************************************


You can replace Shampa with Anvita.. Yes, this is a true story :)



Saturday 18 August 2012

Thought for the day

A writer picks up his pen only when his sensibility is hurt 

this is felt by me... but was quoted by Saadat Hasan Manto

Wednesday 25 July 2012

His She, and her She

Roger was mostly a reclusive and failed scientist, with promising prospects. ( Roger's character is not derived  from ME! ) . Roger thought to make it big someday (I repeat, do NOT think about me ). And Roger's mentors believed in his immense talent (see..now do you agree...  dint I tell you Roger's character is not derived from mine! ).

Roger was trying to build a micro and portable neurocamera, a special device which would track the path of neurons from brain to other parts of body in case of a specific stimuli, and display the exact state of mind or emotion being experienced by the brain. This was suposedly a path breaking invention to cure several diseases, both pshychological and physical. He was done with the first prototype. As expected he had failed. Or that was what he thought. Precisely Roger had  his female assistant's brain  become the guinea pig to test his first prototype, and responses weren't as HE had expected.

When Roger placed food in front of her, before lunchtime, and when she claimed to be hungry... He had expected neurons to be excited from her nose at the smell of food, send a signal to brain, which would thereafter travel to salivary glands, and further to her stomach. He DID record excitement of neurons in the nose, however instead of exciting the part of brain associated with the memory of food, there was activity in the calculation area of her head . When he made her see photograph of her favorite actor, he had expected to get signals of ecstasy and joy. But he traced signals which he decoded as depression. He made her see pictures of emancipated women from far regions of africa, he was expecting to witness her eyes and brain process signals soft and sympathetic sentiments. He was shocked to see immense activity in the jealousy area of her head! Roger was heartbroken.

Out of despair he rang up his ex-colleague Slinky, and requested her to drop by and find opportunities for improvement in his experiment and invention. Slinky was a succesful, attractive, intelligent and meticulous scientist (Men, trust me such women exist, and mostly out of your reach!) . Roger did not change his test subject. When Slinky arrived in his office, Roger recorded test subject giving signals of joy, appreciation and motivation. He had expected any woman of humble origin and means to feel extremely jealous of super successful Slinky. Hence such a response from his test subject assured him that this was another of his failed inventions.

Slinky smiled at the test subject. The test subject smiled back. And the neurocamera showed tender instincts being activated in her brain. Till date Roger hadn't doubted anything about the normalcy of orientation of his assistance and had an idea that she was in happy marriage!

"Roger can I have a minute with the test subject?" "Sure Slinky, you girls have all the time you want to chat"
Test subject and Slinky disappeared in the opaque therapy room of Roger's loft, and emerged 5 minutes later. "Now that was some quickie" ..thought Roger. "Roger can you please elaborate your testing methods and show me the responses?" "Ahh yess .. sure Slinky".. And thus Roger narrated the entire methodology and series of responses. He expected Slinky to lambast him at his testing methods and invention. Instead, she chuckled and said "My dear Roger, you are on your way to invent a fabulous device, you just chose a difficult test subject for yourself. You should begin with your building guard instead."

********************************************************************************



For readers who still are curious to know what exactly happened, I will make your life easier :-

1. Roger's assistance had been planning a party menu since morning.
2. His assistance was having some interesting time with farting trouble of her very handsome husband, and had reached a conclusion that men are best at farting in the bed.
3. Roger should have recollected that he had never met a woman in his life who had accepted that she was "happy" with her weight..they were either little on thinner or slightly on the heavier side.
4.Roger was under the common misconception that two women can , for most part , harbor envy for each other. What he had failed to realize that his assistant was rejoicing the fact that a woman had a supremacy over her idiot boss (bosses like him, who make their assistants look ugly by fixing wires and plugs on her head for some foolish experiment)

Wednesday 27 June 2012

This is a Toon Story


The day Tom proposed to Jerry was a black day for most cartoon lovers.  (I am taking the liberty of assassinating peace in Tom and Jerry’s life, by specifying genders for each).  And adding to strange twists of destiny, Jerry said a yes. Most people thought it was a method Jerry was trying to penance all her wrong and smart doings to Tom. But this time Tom and Jerry were born and brought up in India, and Jerry thought Tom was the best match for her, as per all social norms. He was powerful, strong, big, full of inflated ego, never gave up, etc etc. Importantly, she knew all dullard ways of Tom, and was confident that she would be able to tackle them. So we can heave a sigh of relief that Jerry hasn’t lost her smartness. And we can hope that Tom might get smarter with coming time.

 Jerry’s mother was quite a figure in her mouse community.  She was credited for distracting the community’s attention from fluttering eyelashes and flashy style of Minnie Mouse. Jerry’s mommy had magic in her fingers. She knew the best recipe for RATATOUILLE, and was the first female to own a restaurant business in the entire rodent community. She was a feminist in a non-dressy way. She showed the entire mouse community that the real way of celebrating feminism was not a “liberating” dress-up.

And now her daughter had decided to marry a cat!!! Holy cow!! A bloody cat!! Mice from Mickey family felt proud of their siblings. Minnie felt like shouting out loud – “Women are meant to look and sit pretty, and not sweat out their beauty in a dingy restaurant. This is how we have brought up our daughters”.

Mommy Jerry: - “Darling you sure about Tom”
Jerry: - “Sure what about Tom, I am sure of several things about him.”

Mommy Jerry: - “ What I particularly mean is your decision to marry Tom”.
Jerry: - “Well yes”

Mommy Jerry: - “Darling do you have an idea that this could be your life sentence? Your commitment to suicide?”
Jerry: - “Mommy you want me to marry one of those petty mice in the community?”

Mommy Jerry: - “Daddy would also be angry!! Do you have any plans to face his wrath? And we ARE part of mice community after all! Auntie Minnie had several nice words for me when we met in the market today.”
Jerry: - “Mommy grow up… Don’t you know her daughters have slept with wickedest of mice in the community?”

Mommy Jerry: - “But Tom is so dumb for your wits”
Jerry: - “That is exactly why I said a YES”.

Mommy Jerry :- "We could be thrown out of this gutter-house, others might get scared about Tom visiting our house so often. You live in a country house, but we dont!"
Jerry:- "Mommy, like you really want to live in the gutter??"
Mommy Jerry:- "Jerry, this is my home."
Jerry:- "A place where you cant do what you feel like to, is that what you call a home, your community? Should community think about welfare of an individual, or should individual make sacrifices for a heartless community all the time?? Common Mommy, did you exchange your brains with Aunty Minnie in your meeting today??"
Mommy Jerry:- "And what about Daddy??"
Jerry:- " Tom is a spoilt brat cat mommy, and lives in a lap of luxury! He has an offer for daddy, and daddy wont be able to refuse".

Mommy Jerry :- "And what is that?
Jerry:- "A marriage without dowry"
Mommy Jerry:- "Listen here Jerry, I have always been proud of your independent spirit, your confidence and your decisions. What my real concern here is are you doing this because you JUST want to rebel, or you really think Tom is a suitable match for you??"
Jerry :- "Mommy, for once, leave all this to me and you will never ever regret"

Jerry brooded over her situation. Mommy Jerry's words rang in her ears. Was she ready to spend her life with Tom. Will he not again try and trouble her? Or was he troubling her now.. What if something went wrong.. She paced on the floor.. and then... Violaa!!!

Minnie Aunty had two daughters Meneka Minnie,  and Rambha Minnie. Both were beauties with feminine charms like their mothers. They had mastered the act of damsel in distress perfectly. And they had an army of mice drooling after them. They had fixed timings of doing everything. And noon was the hour they took sunbath, near the pool of club Heartland, because it was an isolated spot.

Jerry fixed a date with Tom, near the pool of club Heartland, because it was an isolated spot,in the noon hour. Tom brought the best cheese in town for Jerry, and arrived at the spot, right on time! Jerry took time to come, since she was fiddling with her new dress.

Meneka Minnie,  and Rambha Minnie were lying for their sunbath when Tom arrived. Smell of cheese woke them up. They looked at Tom. Meneka Minnie realized it was a futile effort to think of getting that cheese and closed her eyes again. Rambha Minnie fluttered her eyelids, got up and went to Tom.

Rambha Minnie :- " Hey there... You got cheese.. mind sharing some with me"..

Tom (still gawking.. ) :- "I got this for Jerry, but its already plenty. I think you can have some"

Rambha Minnie :- " I heard females in your caste are far sexier than females in our caste, and you are from a stinkingly rich background, why marry Jerry??"

Tom (blushing) :- "My choice is mostly petite females.. Moreover Jerry is so smart, and yet so little..  Females in my community, are far too cunning for my taste"

Rambha Minnie (continuously fluttering eyelids) :- "I see.. hmm.. cheese is delicious.. but its a hot day, and I think I cannot have more.."

Tom:- "If you dont feel like then please dont have more..."

But before Tom could say much.. Rambha Minnie fainted.. It was probably the heat. Tom was perplexed! He dashed to the pool, and brought some water in his paws, and sprayed it on Rambha Minnie. She woke up fluttering her eyelids once again. Tom who had seen several charming, suave and sexy females in his community, had never seen a beauty so feminine, so delicate, so innocent, so much in need of his help and care. Jerry was good.. but she was too smart.. and never really needed Tom. This one.. this damsel, was so much in need of Tom... His male pride swelled, with Rambha Minnie  in his arms.. and in a moment of passion, he planted a kiss on her lips.. And she reacted with similar coyness, and charm to his kiss.. They were so engrossed, that they did not notice Jerry standing behind them.. And Jerry was.. she was.. she was .. strangely.. very relaxed.. Infact, she was beaming. She had always  thought of Tom as a fool.. And suddenly seeing him and Rambha Minnie together, she had a sudden realization, of how much  they were meant to be with each other. She quietly walked away.. and dropped a SMS to Tom.. "Dude I cant marry you.. My father has threatened to kill us both" .. to which Tom replied "My dear Jerry, I understand your distress. If this is your father's wish, then let it be so."

Two weeks later the entire mouse community was abuzz with the gossip of  forthcoming wedding of Tom and Rambha Minnie.




PS:-
Before readers argue about my obsession of writing around the idea of marriage, I would like to make certain clarifications here. First of all I AM NOT A FRUSTRATED SINGLE.  Secondly marital alimony is a root of several social happineses and unhappineses, guaranteeing an interesting read or write.